Living On
by Phandancee74
Summary: Harry wakes up at St. Mungo's with little memory of the last six months. *WARNING* Character Death.


Harry woke up in St. Mungo's to a sea of ginger hair and worried eyes. 

"Aagh. What happened this time?" He asked half to himself.

A healer stepped forward introducing himself as Healer Kirkstrom. "You and your auror partner were in pursuit of an ex death eater who was trading and collecting dark magic items. From what we can gather you were ambushed and struck from behind." 

Harry frowned. A simple knock out was hardly a reason for half the Weasleys to appear in his hospital room. 

"How's Robards?" He asked hoping his partner wasn't the reason for their miserable countenances.

"Robards?" Hermione asked in a puzzled voice "He's fine Harry. It was just you and - " She paused for a moment " - your partner on this mission." 

"And just who was my partner then if it wasn't Robards?" Harry was thrown off a bit by Hermione's careful answer. "I don't remember getting reassigned for this case. I don't really even remember the case at all" He continued getting concerned.

The Weasleys took a moment to look amongst themselves trying to decide what to say to Harry, and who should have to say it. Eventually all eyes turned to Molly, and Harry knew it must be bad.

"Mum?" He asked knowing she would answer when he referred to her that way. He wished he didn't see the pity in her eyes "Will you tell me what's going on?"

"Harry dear. We need you to tell us first what's the last thing you do remember."

Harry struggled for a moment. "Ron and I were out at the Leaky for drinks on Monday same as always. He was telling me about Rose and how she's finally sleeping through the night now. I told him I wouldn't keep him late then since after weeks without sleep he still looked like he'd lost a fight with a Blast Ended Skrewt."

Ron nodded. "That was three days ago, on Monday." Then he went on "But Mate, if you remember this then how come you're forgetting that Robards got promoted four months ago?"

"Four Months? No way. He and I just finished that pixie case a week ago." Harry said though he was starting to feel like his brain was muddled. "Right after Christmas." Then Harry realized that didn't make sense. Rose was barely a month old by Christmas; she wouldn't have been sleeping through the night yet.

This time it was GInny who responded.

"Harry. It's June. Robards was promoted in February."

Hermione had a look on her face like she had seen the snitch but didn't want anyone else to notice it yet. Then her face changed, the moment of victory making her sad.

"Harry. What's the last thing you remember about Dra-Malfoy?" Everyone held their breath.

"Malfoy?" Harry said completely lost "I guess I saw him on New Years. Weird, I can't believe I haven't seen him in six months." Since they'd both become aurors Harry usually saw Draco somewhat regularly. They even went out for drinks now and then. "I stopped in at the Three Broomsticks on my way to your party, Mum" Harry looked over at Mrs. Weasley "I saw him sitting alone and I teased him about not having anyone to kiss when the New Year started. I can't remember anything else about that night. Must have been a great party" He chuckled but no one else even smiled.

"Harry you never came to the party" Hermione said.

"Though I do remember you saying you had a good night," George tried to sound teasing but the words came out flat.

"This is all besides the point." Harry reminded them "Just tell me who my partner is and if they're okay."

"They aren't." Hermione said looking down, trying to avoid Harry's eyes. "and neither are you."  
There was that sad look again. "Malfoy was your new partner Harry and if you can't remember New Year's I think I know what the problem is. What spell he used on you."

"What is it 'Mione?" Ron asked putting his hand on her shoulder. "It's bad isn't it? That git did something he shouldn't have didn't he?"

Ron didn't sound angry, even as he called Malfoy a git but Harry barely noticed. He was lost in thought. Draco was his auror partner? His secret crush had been working with him for months and he couldn't remember any of it. He wondered what they were like as a team. He wondered if he ever got to see Draco's elusive smile at the end of a tough mission. If they still went out for drinks together, maybe even more often now. Then in a moment Harry remembered the first part of what Hermione had just told him.

"Draco isn't okay?" He asked in a small voice, not able to mask his concern by calling him Malfoy.

"No Harry. Draco's gone." Molly again, who had started to cry softly.

"Why did you call him Draco?" Harry asked after a while, unable to process the rest of what she had said.

"You asked all of us to call him that." Ginny said. "When you brought him over to the house for George's Birthday."

The family looked at her uncertainly. Should she be telling harry this much?

"I didn't bring him to George's Birthday." Harry said, sure of himself "I wouldn't. That's family only and I know how you all feel about him." But Harry looked around and he wasn't sure how they felt about Draco anymore, all the Weasleys looked truly upset. Then he continued "Plus I don't think I made it this year. Sorry George, I must have been busy with work."

"What's going on with him Love?" Ron asked his wife. "Why can't he remember these things?"

Instead of responding to Ron, Hermione took a breath and lifted her eyes to Harry's.

"Harry. You and Draco were together for the last six months, romantically. He became your auror partner four months ago when Robards got promoted, said he didn't trust anyone but himself with your safety. You told the family about you two on George's Birthday. But you hadn't told anyone besides friends and family yet. I think that's why he did this."

"Why he did what?" Ron asked again, hoping for an answer this time.

"Why he set a spell to remove all of Harry's memories of their relationship." She said reaching up to grip Ron's hand tightly. "Draco wanted to protect Harry from pain if he died."

Harry couldn't speak. He could barely think. _Draco is straight, he would never want me_. It had been his mantra for years now whenever he saw or thought of the beautiful man. _Draco_ was _straight_ , he corrected himself then said it aloud.

"No Honey." Molly wrapped him in a crushing hug, her face still wet from crying. "He wasn't. And apparently neither are you. You could have told us that before you brought your boyfriend home. Given us just one shock at a time." Harry had wondered how his adoptive mother would take his sexual preferences, he should have known she wouldn't care.

"He loved you." Ginny said. "He really did. I wish you could remember it." Then she turned towards Hermione. "If I give him my memories of the party, of seeing them together, would it help. Could he remember the rest on his own?"

Hermione answered her honestly. "I don't know. Spells tied to something as powerful as death are very hard to work around."

"Why?" Harry spoke up. "He had to know you'd tell me."

"Course he did Mate" Ron piped up. "We wouldn't leave you in the dark about this. But I think the idiot was trying to give you a choice. He wouldn't want you to be in pain over him, he never thought he deserved your love, he wouldn't want your grief."

Harry looked in wonder at the earnest expression on Ron's face. Draco must have been pretty incredible in their relationship to get Ron to like him.

"Because the papers never knew about you two" Hermione picked up for Ron "Draco knew you could escape remembering. You wouldn't be hounded with questions when he died. You could forget about your time together and go on with your life."

"Was it serious?" Harry asked "Will it hurt if I try?"

"Mate. It might kill you" Ron said truthfully.

"You were going to move in together." Ginny answered "You asked him on his birthday and you told him you wanted to be together and to finally tell the world."

"So why didn't we?" Harry asked hoping that Draco hadn't wanted to. Hoping there was something wrong with this relationship that sounded so perfect.

"You would have," Hermione said, breaking Harry a bit, "You were going to come out to everyone by kissing each other senseless after you solved this case. It would have been on the front page."

"Can I see him?" Harry asked Healer Kirkstrom who had stood by patiently throughout the conversation, waiting to see if Harry would want to see a Mind Healer.

"That would be up to his family." The healer replied.

It would be up to Narcissa.

Narcissa. Did she know about them? Had she approved? Would she let Harry see Draco one more time?

-

His answer came later that day. The Weasleys had left Harry to think.

"Will you try to get your memories back?" Narcissa asked from the doorway. "I want to know before I decide if you can see him."

So she knew.

"I don't know yet." Harry told her trying to see her feelings through her impressive Malfoy mask. "Wouldn't you want to remember? I've had a crush on him, been almost in love with him, for years now. Shouldn't I get to feel the love I've wanted for so long?"

"Most would." Narcissa answered evenly. "But what will you do?"

Moments passed as Harry tried to think not about what he wanted, but what Draco had.

"I will do nothing." Harry said, knowing it was true. "I can't remember how we were, or what we were to each other but I know from what he did that he would want me to be happy. And I was so close to being in love with him before whatever it was happened that I don't think I could ever love anyone else again if I let myself remember."

Narcissa nodded. "Then I will let you see him if you still want to."

"I do." Harry said at once.

"Why?" She asked checking him for signs that he was lying, that he would still seek his memories.

"To thank him." Harry replied choosing his words carefully "To thank him for loving me and for giving me a chance to someday find someone else to love. I don't know if it will happen, if it's even possible, but he gave me a chance and because I know it's what he wanted, I'll take it."

Narcissa smiled sadly. Her son was gone; but Harry would continue to live, just as Draco had wanted.


End file.
